BASTARD SYSTEM MANAGER FROM HELL #13 - The Office Move
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Since going ex-directory and changing my number, the number of calls has gone
down, but I'm starting to see weird people in my office more frequently.  Some
of them seem to be saying something, but I ignore them.  If it was important
they'd have phoned me or e-mailed me (I've changed my account name too, without
forwarding my e-mail).

Still, this quietness means I can get on with the master plan of moving all of
our VAXes to the new offices.  Personally, I think we should come in on a
Monday afternoon (not too early) and move them.  To hell with the dealers, why
should I have to work weekends so that they can work during the week
uninterrupted, well, those desks not near the italian desk can work
uninterrupted.  Those close by get the hourly floor show of two italian dealers
belting seven bells out of each other with their handbags.  Who in their right
mind would buy a promise by the italian government anyway?

The move is planned well: we have two Digital engineers, four
movers-and-shifters, an electrician and a fully under trained network team
ready to leap at my command.  Then the bad news:  The Boss decides he needs to
hands on manage this.  That means trouble, like not being able to go to the all
night strip club whilst the Digital engineers do all of the work.  Still, just
as he does during a normal day, he falls asleep in his chair.

Now I know that the movers-and-shifters responsible for moving the furniture
are not too bright.  So I wrap corrugated card around him and chair, finishing
off by putting a a bright red sticker on the outside (bright red for
unbreakable kit, but move it now).  After a few subtle hints a couple of
mover-and-shifters find the sticker and lug the box out.  True to nature, they
don't carry it down the stairs. but pick it up and drop it over the balcony
(well, it had an unbreakable sticker on it).

I trot downstairs and find ... the Boss is still alive, but unconscious and
with multiple broken bones.  Shit.  There are no busses coming (well, not
through the entrance lobby anyway), so that solution is out.  Quick as a flash
I pick him up (full of care, me) and toss him into a skip saying "Building
Hardcore, no rubbish".  Rearrange the tarpaulin and all is hidden.

Before he wakes up he'll be holding up an office block, not my work.

In the interests of company loyalty, and because I want a close look at the new
building security system before it's fully live, I forgo the night's
entertainment of Fanny's Fan Dancers and stay in the new building.  You'd be
surprised what you can learn from a few stolen blue prints and a little poking
about.  But that's another story.

The Engineers finish work by Saturday mid-morning.  As a sign of my good will,
I let them go.  They go down in the lift wondering how they escaped when they
connected the back of the machine racks up to the mains.  Shocking.  But I'd
seen it all on the security camera.  The lift stops at floor 1.5.  There's
nobody in until Tuesday (Monday is a bank holiday).

The lift seems to be not working, so I take the stairs down and see myself out,
confident that I have been seen by the cameras doing all the right things.

I guess the Morning Operator is in for a shock...