BASTARD SYSTEM MANAGER FROM HELL #12 - Dealing with DNS updates ==================================== Things are right dandy. So dandy that I'm actually using s word like dandy. I've taken in 10K in bribes from the Christmas party, plus close to 20K from the Dutch sales of the video. I am a happy man. I am so happy that I don't get annoyed by the phone ringing. "Hello?" says I, giving nothing away (some habits die hard). "Day Operator, here Sir. Sorry to bother you, but we've a big problem here." The Day Operator is being very nice to me since the party. He couldn't pay the going rate in bribes, so owes me big time. Seconds pass in silence, he knows I'm here and not saying anything, but he's too scared of me to try to prompt me. I let him stew for a few more seconds. "Well, what is it?" I demand, in my best irritated voice. "It's the DNS, Sir, it's not talking to anyone." He pauses, then hurriedly continues, knowing he has failed to give me all the information first time. Tut, tut. "It's the DNS on Rum, Sir." Hum, the DNS is dumb on Rum. It has to be the PC morons. Again. "Have we updated it recently?" I ask, knowing the answer. "Er,...well,...the Evening Operator had some updates for new PCs last night, I guess he might have done." I knew it. There is only one solution to this, and you should know by now that it is going to end in bloodshed. To keep in practice, I reboot Gin whilst I am thinking about this problem. Four hundred dealers start ringing the PC morons to complain that their PC is not working. A hundred cleverer ones, the really dangerous brokers, ring the Dealing Interface Change / Support team. These people need watching: A broker that realises that there is something wrong with the VAX dealing system rather than their PC is clever, but one that knows to call the DICS is downright dangerous. My telephone monitor soon has all of the deviant dealers recorded. Time to deal with the Day Operator. "Edit the DNS input file and remove the line that says 'I don no'." Not great spellers, the PC morons. "Then reload the DNS and it will work." I put the phone down and prepare for a little nap, after all this excitement. Twice in one day! I wasn't that happy, you know. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I scream down the phone. Lucky I have the caller id display on my phone. "The phones are going wild here. All the PCs are down. Could it be the VAX is not working." He's called me before; the polite inquiry as to the state of a VAX is a definite clue. To do that when he has received 400 irate calls is proof positive. "Well, *all* of the PCs being down at one time would be unusual. You can only normally manage to bring down half of them at any one time. I guess it could be the VAX." The sarcasm is wasted on these lower forms of life, but I can hear the relief in his breathing. "You boys take a quick coffee and I'll see what's wrong with the VAX." "Okay, thanks." I press a small button on my desk. A PC moron feels a small bite on the back of his neck. The mosquito drinks its fill and moves on. Another moron notices a mossy sucking blood from his hand and brushes it off. Two weeks and the lot of them will be down with malaria. The Day Operator again. "You were right, there was a machine with the name 'I don no' in the file. How did you know? "They always do that," says I. Because I put it there yesterday, thinks I. "Oh, and tell the Evening Operator to hang around a bit when his shift finishes. I'd like to see him early tomorrow." When he's been in for nearly twenty four hours waiting for me, I'll act all surprised and deny everything. That should start a good inter-operator war off. And, of course, I'll be able to sack the Evening Operator when he falls asleep on his shift tomorrow night. Now, I'll see about the telephone directory. I'm going ex-directory. I get entirely too many calls.